What Gets In The Way Of People Clicking With Each Other
I’m a big fan of sounding boards, mastermind groups and life by design partnerships. (Read all about the latter in my ebook, ‘Life By Design.’ I’m fortunate in that my wife gives me the benefit of her thoughts and views, sometimes without me even asking! She helps me brainstorm on various projects by provoking and inviting my thoughts in our conversations, too, and that’s the best part. You see, I’m one of those people who thinks best by talking, and sometimes I don’t know what I think until I hear what I say! This may be why I like writing so much…it’s a way to explore my thoughts.
So the other day, she and I were taking a walk and we were talking about my new book, ‘How To Click With People: Building the Personal Side of Business.’ I had been telling her what I hoped the book would do for people when she asked me, in that very direct way that often takes me by surprise: “Do people really need help with this? For me, creating connection with people has always been pretty easy!”
And that’s true. I’ve watched her build relationships with people over the years we’ve been together, and she’s really good at it. After all, everywhere we’ve travelled she has made new friends, has maintained life long relationships with many of them, her work in sales was always stellar, and her employers over the years before we met came to rely on her. And I certainly click with her!
So I agreed with her, and complemented her for having a knack for it. Turns out that for some people it really is easy, while for others, they’re only good at it when it doesn’t count and nothing is on the line. When she asked “Who needs this kind of help?” I replied, “I’m thinking there’s a whole generation of people who engage electronically but don’t much know how to do it face to face or on the phone. Then there are sales people, employers and managers, business owners and service providers whose financial well being depends on their ability to make and develop connections quickly and permanently.”
Then I told her, “Not everyone has your level of ease and comfort about it. They’d love to have your experience of clicking. Fact is, there are people who only click with a narrow circle of people, and everybody else is a challenge for them. And for some people, it’s only the people that they really need to click with that they have trouble with!”
She clicked with my response. And then she asked me, “What gets in the way of people clicking with each other? What stops people from making an easy connection, and connection easy?” I loved the questions, and was eager to respond.
I said, “One of the things that gets in the way is the idea that there’s some people you click with and some people you don’t, that it’s dependent somehow on chemistry. “The surface differences between us don’t have to put us off each other. Those seeming differences between people can also be a source of fascination and interest.
When people click, it’s usually because they go past the surface differences out of fascination and genuine interest. “So if a person is in the habit of judging a book by its cover, they may be missing out on some of the greatest relationship possibilities of their life.” She nodded with understanding.
We continued walking, and then I guess her fascination and interest kicked in. She said, “What else gets in the way?” My answer will have to wait until next week’s blog post! I hope you’ll come back for it, and comment on this one! Your feedback is always welcome, because I love it when people ‘click with Rick!’ Fair enough?
Be well, Rick
Rick is a best selling author and the founder of the Art of Change Skills for Life. His book titles include, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to bring out the best in people at their worst, Life by Design and Influence and the Art of Persuasion. These days he is spending quality time away from the spotlight enjoying the company of his wife and practicing his electric guitar.