Two posts today. This one first.
I realize I’m a day late on getting my next blog post up. (And after an almost flawless 10 month track record! Derailed by death and delay is my excuse. Read on.)
Had a difficult time getting back from New Orleans, with a bonus night (Tues) in San Fran due to fog (bonus night meaning 3 hours of sleep in the Hyatt after flying to Medford, circling for half an hour and returning to SF..then getting up at the crack of dawn to try again) By the time I made it home on Wednesday, I was too exhausted to think, much less write.
to all of you who took the time to call or send me your support over the loss of my friend Aryeh. I’m deeply appreciative. Typical was this message from my friend Jaime:
Oh my god Ricky I did not know.
What a loss! What a beautiful man–I can only imagine the grief you and so many feel.
It is hard to understand this mystery of Life.
Here’s what I wrote back to him.
Yes. It’s so unbelievably sad. And yes, it seems as if the universe has made a terrible mistake. It’s hard to understand. But then, I gave up the need to ‘understand’ the mystery of life long ago. It’s infinite, and any mental capacity to comprehend any of it is blinded by the mere size of me. These days, after accepting the unacceptable, I just end up with “s__t happens, life goes on, here I am, now what.”
The most amazing part is the grief part. I cry without expecting it. Then stop. It seems over. Then BAM. Aryeh and I used to love to joke about how deep I am. (The joke: That I’m not.) I guess the real joke is on me. I’m apparently deeper than even I thought. That’s a deep thought.
Lucky for me, I have practiced laughing alot in my life, so I find plenty of reasons to do it, even when crying. Jaime, when I die, if I have the misfortune of going before any more of my friends, I’d love it if they/you would have a big laugh-in in my honor, roast the heck out of me by making fun of everything you can think of about me – Yes, I’m thin skinned, but with me gone, you can all say what you really thought and I won’t be at all offended, and there should be lots of material, don’t you think?
Then see about getting my ashes on to a space shuttle. I do have an astronaut friend now, T.J. Creamer, I’m talking to you!) so it could be possible! That will fulfill my fantasy of getting into space and then being lost in space!
Oh, and put up a nice monument. I’ve made sure both Aden and Lindea have the specs. 😉 I’m a fan of redundancy! Yes I am!
Thanks for the love. I feel it.
Right after I gave my speech in New Orleans at the PCMA conference, I checked my phone for messages. And there it was. Aryeh had called, or so thought my phone. It was surreal. Turned out that Aryeh’s wife Beth was calling his buddies. How sweet of her! I hadn’t called her because I didn’t want to bother her, figured she was getting overwhelmed with calls already, and when I tried to call her back, Aryeh’s message service was, as I expected, completely stuffed. The outpouring of love triggered by loss is truly astonishing, a glory and wonder to behold. I’d love to see that happen every day, without anybody having to lose anybody.
I’m feeling the love. Here’s me, sharing it with you. Again, thanks so much to all of you who took the time to offer me support. I’ll get back to blogging on communication, persuasion and change now. Life goes on. There’s much work to do for us who are living.