Dealing With Coworkers’ Bad Behavior
I love the new word Collenemy (created by Timejournalist Lisa Takeuchi Cullen) and the idea of toxicity associated with this person leads naturally to the idea of a collenema. Cullen’s recent article titled, Never Mind Office Romance. Fear the Collenemy, led me to share my thoughts with you on the topic of toxic relationships with coworkers.
I do not believe that labeling someone as toxic leads to a likely change in outcome.
In fact, in the moment of blaming a person for their bad behavior, you run the risk of giving up your leverage to bring positive change to the situation.
That’s because the act of blame makes a victim of the blamer. Better, I think, to choose a frame of reference that leads to a different result.
Yes, it can be satisfying to hold someone else accountable for the way you let yourself be effected, but it is NOT effective. Holding someone else accountable merely feeds into the self fulfilling prophecy of “See what dealing with her did to me?”
Useful Assumptions Are Better Than Limiting Ones
In my research on the subject, I have found that effective behavior when dealing with bad behavior begins with making useful assumptions rather than limiting ones.
So call it what you like, but how you react to what you call it is the beginning of how resourceful you are in dealing with it.
You can read the complete article about collenemy here.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend.
Rick is a best selling author and the founder of the Art of Change Skills for Life. His book titles include, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to bring out the best in people at their worst, Life by Design and Influence and the Art of Persuasion. These days he is spending quality time away from the spotlight enjoying the company of his wife and practicing his electric guitar.