Interview with Dr. Rick Kirschner about Dealing with People You Can’t Stand is now available on BAM Radio with Holly Alissa Bruno, and on iTunes. The target audience for the show is educators and educational administrators. but the information will be useful for anyone.
How do you let people know you are on their side? Simple. Send a few signals of similarity. The fact is, people send all kinds of signals with their communication. They signal valuable information not just about who they are, but also how they are and why they are the way they are. If you…
The trick is not to buy into negative behavior, but instead, to reframe it and make it useful to yourself. How to make negativity useful? Remember, a negative person can serve two valuable functions in your life: They can be your personal character builder, and they can serve as an early warning system when it comes to problems.
Yes, some of the best ideas are met with resistance. But so are some of the worst ones. Important solutions fail to be implemented because of resistance. But that happens to ineffective solutions as well. When someone is resisting your persuasive communication attempts, you might gain an advantage by owning the phenomenon.
You get along better with people when you build on a foundation of similarities between you. The difference between conflict with a friend and conflict with a difficult person, is that with a friend the conflict is tempered by the common ground you share. Success in communication depends on finding common ground before attempting to redirect the interaction toward a new outcome.
If you ever find yourself dealing with a person who doesn’t know what they’re talking about, do the unthinkable first. Give them the benefit of the doubt.