Available on audio for the first time ever… DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND Written and read by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman. Available on CD or as a digital download. With their 1994 international bestseller, Drs. Rick Kirschner and Rick Brinkman armed the world with no-nonsense strategies for dealing with difficult people…
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It seems that what passes for understanding often isn’t. So believing you know the meaning of someone else’s words could deny both of you an important experience. You wouldn’t actually understand, and they wouldn’t feel understood. By setting aside the immediate meaning you make, and showing an interest in the meaning that they make, you draw them out, and that draws you in closer to them.
By identifying a good internal response ahead of time and then rehearsing it a bit in the privacy of your own mind, you can give yourself the advantage of being prepared, and the other person the benefit of your verbal gratitude.
Develop your ability to switch into an information-gathering mode rather than a reactionary one whenever faced with one of life’s challenges, particularly when those challenges appear in the form of other people. And specifically, if what they’re doing rubs you the wrong way.
It’s always a pleasure to hear from readers, but in this case, a particular pleasure. The message is very polite in tone. I do not speak Espanol, but my wife does, and she translated it for me (I’ll share that with you in a moment).
Understanding occurs on two levels: Emotionally—the person feels that you understand what they are feeling—and intellectually—the person believes that you understand what they are saying. If you make a habit of listening to go deep, you’ll find fewer problem people and more enjoyment of people in general.
© 2020 The Art of Change Skills for Life.
