Humor attracts interest, puts people on common footing, and creates an atmosphere of goodwill that is conducive to meaningful communication. Humor has such a positive impact on people that more and more businesses (not the dead-serious ones though!) use it to train and retain employees.
Consider the power of positive projection. It’s based on the fact that most people rise or fall to the level of your expectations and projections. This phenomenon has been used by exceptional teachers to turn average students into exceptional ones, by loving wives to turn angry husbands into loving ones, and by managers to turn poorly performing employees into stellar ones.
One of my favorite jokes to play on an audience is to ask someone to ask me what I do for a living. Someone bites. “What do you do for a living?” I reply, “I’m a comedian. Now, someone ask me why I’m so successful.” Someone bites. “Why are you…” but I interrupt them and…
You must learn to speak purposefully to yourself to change your attitude for the better. You can develop a few quick-draw mental comments that help you to keep your sense of humor and perspective around difficulties. For example, here are some great things to say to yourself, with brief explanations of how they are true:
Ever had to deal with washy people who don’t follow through? Here’s how it goes. Someone makes you a promise, and you, counting on it, make a promise to someone else that depends on that promise made to you. And then nothing happens. Nothing except that you wind up looking like a flake.
My concern with facial expressions is that they can mean other things. Observing and hallucinating on their meaning may take a person out of authentic connection mode and into a mode of behavior that is offputting and unpleasant to be around. What kind of non verbal messages might that send?