Life Skills – Phone Flirtations
And now, for something in a lighter vein, flirting! And yes, it has a business application, because it is a form of persuasive communication. But I’ll leave that for you to find. Meanwhile, one of my readers asked me to talk about it, and here it is.
What do I know about flirting? After all, I’m turning 60 this year, I’m married and out of the dating game for 22 years now.
Fact is, a bit of flirting helps keep my marriage alive. IMO, anyone who thinks that flirting stops after marriage is probably not very happy in their marriage! The first two stages of relationships are attraction and affection, and flirting keeps the attraction going.
How do I use flirting in my relationship? Well, for starters, I’m a speaker and trainer, and thus a frequent traveler. I am often away from home and hearth. You know that saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? It’s true. I miss my wife and call home often to maintain our connection no matter my geographic location.
Thankfully, distance hasn’t been a problem for us because I learned everything I needed to know about phone flirting when I was just a boy.
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was 14 years old, and my parents let me go on a bus trip with other young people to meet up with yet more young people at a youth event sponsored in a far away city by a religious organization with which we were affiliated. Within minutes of arriving, I met a girl there. Her name was Bonnie. She smiled a big smile at me, asked me a few questions, stared at me when she thought I wasn’t looking, and, well, I was smitten. I spent every moment at that event as near to her as I could be.
She was all I could think of on the long bus ride home. And the closer to home I got, the more firmly planted in my mind was my desire to talk with her. So strong was my desire that, whenever my parents left me home alone, or late at night when I was supposed to be asleep, I felt compelled to call her long distance.
Each time she answered, we talked for at least an hour. There was so much about her that I wanted to know. Her likes, her dislikes, her favorite places, people, foods, activities, color, what her relationship was like with her parents, her siblings, did she have pets, what were they called and why, how was life where she lived, had she ever thought about living anywhere else – my curiosity was boundless. I flirted myself silly. She loved it. Bonnie was shy, but she loved my calls, laughed with me often, and always asked me to call again. My eagerness for these conversations knew no bounds. The same could be said for the cost of our calls. It never occurred to me that I was running up the phone bill. Or that the bill would ever come due.
But it did. My parents wanted to know who was responsible for spending hundreds of dollars on long distance calls to Indianapolis. I would have remained silent on the grounds that anything I’d say would most certainly incriminate me, but one of my siblings outed me for what I’d done. And once it was out, I was grounded. I was not allowed to use the phone under any circumstances. This gave me a lot of time to think about Bonnie. I don’t really know if Bonnie thought about me after I stopped calling, or even what Bonnie thought about me for not calling, because I never called again, and never got to ask her (that’s the frustrating thing about dependence on parents…they make the rules!)
But it really no longer mattered. Without the means or the method to communicate with her, my budding relationship with Bonnie came to its natural end. I comfort myself with knowing that, while our moment may have been brief, we made the most of it. With a lot of flirting and the help of a phone, we made a memory.
If I could do then what I know now how to do, I would have done a much better job of flirting, and maybe found Bonnie’s motivation to occasionally pick up the tab! Ah well. Today is the first day of the rest of your flirtatious life. In my next post on this subject, which may or may not take place next time I post (that’s called ‘teasing,’ an entirely different subject!), I’ll tell you what I’ve learned about what it takes to make phone flirting a fun way to turn contact into connection.
Until then, I’d love to hear your comments, questions and stories about flirting or the lack of it in your life!