The Art of Change Skills for Life

Ideas. Insight. Inspiration.

Does Necessity Need An Explanation?

August 10, 2008 Must Reads 2

Today, I am blogging about need. I don’t actually need to do this. But I want to. Because when it comes to the word need, I have an ironic response to it. I have blogged previously about need as an aspect of communication itself, as it is reflected in the style of a person’s communication. But I also think of a line from the movie Broadcast News, in which Albert Brooke’s character, in a phone call, says to Holly Hunter’s character, “Wouldn’t it be great if desperate and needy were a turn-on?” So when I hear someone telling me about a need, it’s accurate that I experience a bit of inner turning away from it. Turning away is the opposite to my typical response when observing a need, in which case I may feel compelled to respond to it.

Here’s the thing. You don’t need to leave comments on all my articles, do you? I want you to leave comments and feedback on the blog. And you might want to (which is awesome!) but you don’t need to do so. You need food, shelter, security, a sense of personal esteem and fulfillment, and a few other things that there’s no pressing need to say aloud here. But if and when you leave a comment, it is because you want to do so. I make a clean distinction between want and need, between motivation and necessity.

Students of NLP learn about the Modal Operators, an interesting construct about a class of language that indicates a frame of mind. Modal Operators, in the classic NLP model, come in two flavors. Necessity and Possibility. I’m a fan for possibility, because it leads to creativity, whereas necessity leads to a narrowing of focus. In communication, if I tell someone what they need to do, I run the risk of them having the experience of cognitive dissonance, which complicates rather than simplifies my efforts at communication.

I don’t need you to understand what I just wrote. But I want you to understand. I would enjoy knowing that you understand it, and am eager to hear your understanding of it!!

If you feel a need to comment, I’ll not turn away. In fact, I’ll be thrilled! How do you respond to ‘need?’

Be well,

Rick

 

2 Responses

  1. J.D. Meier says:

    Hey – I get it. Good stuff!

  2. I’m thrilled! Thanks for the comment, J.D.! Hope your needs and wants are getting met marvelously!

    be well
    Rick

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